To eleven years together: “Love is grabbing hold to the great Lion’s mane”


“Love is grabbing hold to the great Lion’s mane” or so go the words from the poet Hafiz.

I’ve been clinging to that mane – whipping in the wind it often seems – for eleven years now. Actually, it has been eleven years today – and married six years ago today – but it was only four years ago that I started this blog.

The original idea for the blog was to narrate the experiences of a troupe of Ottoman-era Turkish puppet characters who had grabbed onto that lion’s mane along with me. Specifically, a set of Karagöz puppets that inhabited my head one day while I was eating kebap in Bursa.

And it wasn’t a casual kind of inhabitance, it was a commitment on the part of those puppets to assist me on the cross-cultural Turkish and American marital road trip that is my life. Whether they have indeed assisted me or at times confused me, or just voiced the various realities that exist in my head at any given time is up for debate.

My original goal was to tell the story of how M. and I met, and to narrate the ups and the downs – and all of the funny grey areas in between.  I felt there was a need to do so, as we hear way too little about what a cross-cultural relationship is really like on a day to day basis.

I started off with some of the highlights (visiting our shared heritage at the Gelibolu/Gallipoli memorial) and lowlights (the weight-related battles I had with my sister-in-law as well as my fantasies about showing up at her tony resort beach in a burquini).

Over time, however, the blog has morphed into commentary on this and that aspect of Turkish or Turkish-American life between me (“M’Lady”) and my husband (“M.”)…and has also addressed Islamophobia, my early and late introductions to Islam and Turkey and all manner of other matters such as visiting Mexico, describing a tiny mosque on the Georgian border or sharing a recipe or two.

This year, however, my goal is to write at least a few more posts about what happened between M’Lady and M. after the beginning and before the present day…in between other commentary!  I hope you will enjoy the ride and feel the touch of the lion’s mane as you join me in my quest to make sense of it all.

And while you are at it…check out some of my blog-mates who also write about cross-cultural Turkish relationships, specifically Turklish (Turkish-American), Janey in Mersin (Turkish-Aussie/NZ I think, sorry Janey, couldn’t find it on your blog), Turkey with Stuffins (Turkish-English), Earth Laughs in Flowers (Turkish-English, I think), Irish Gelin (Turkish-Irish), Eat with Me Istanbul (Turkish-Korean, although primarily a lovely food blog) and of course the wonderful column over at Today’s Zaman which details the life of a yabancı gelin (foreign bride).

And let’s not forget the wonderful book Tales from the Expat Harem: Foreign Women in Modern Turkey – which while not totally about cross-cultural marriage, certainly gets at the topic! This book is soon to be followed by a successor, Sofra: A Gathering of Foreign Voices Around the Turkish Table…and if you wish to write for it, you can read their call for writers here!

So, while I may not be unique in writing about cross-cultural love, I think I may be the only one crazy enough to admit that I have a gang of Karagöz puppets egging me on all the way! 🙂

Posted in Introducing the Karagöz puppets, On writing about my life with the Karagöz puppets | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

A fındık (hazelnut) fiesta in Güneşliköyü


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Recently, the puppets joined me on a trip with the Archers of Okçular. Clinging onto the backseat, the puppets didn’t complain as we wound our way through the mountains of the northeastern Black Sea region near the Georgian border. M’Lady was thrilled to be so close to Georgia – a place she visited during Soviet times in what feels like a century ago.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/c31/25541592/files/2015/01/img_0443.jpgWhilst exploring the small towns near the border, we came across an ancient Keystone Bridge. The puppets insisted on getting out and taking some pictures – it’s not every day you see such a relic. Check out the pictures here from the old bridge in the small hamlet of Güneşliköyü, which is even locatable on a Google map. And, I might add, the use of the word “hamlet” is a generous one – we saw only two houses on the winding river road.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/c31/25541592/files/2015/01/img_0444.jpgAs we poked around the bridge, a figure emerged from the hazy green distance. He carried a hoe and wore a plaid shirt with a rolled up sleeves. His hair was silvered with the ages and his eyes were twinkly. Greeting us with warmth, we worked our way through the pleasantries – where we were from, how lovely the area was, falan filan. (i.e. yadda yadda in Turkish). His name was Fazlı.

Fazlı Bey soon whipped out his cell phone and asked for assistance in programming it. “Who the hell knows how to work these damn things anyway,” he said with a chuckle, I’m a pistachio farmer… This isn’t my expertise.” None of us could figure out the magic touch. Losing interest in the cell phone, Fazlı Bey announced that we would be ceasing that activity and would henceforth be gathering hazelnuts.

“You will not leave without a bag of my hazelnuts! Even though my wife and I are locked in an argument so deep I can’t even remember what it’s about anymore, she’d kick me if I didn’t share some of our beloved nuts with you – and I want to share with you!” Kenne, the Queen of Manners, nodded her head in approval.  “While this man is somewhat disheveled, at least he has a mind for manners!”  Mercan Bey shot Kenne a sidelong glance, pointing out that he was a farmer after all, his hands dirty with honest work.

As those ornery puppets began to quarrel, we tromped on into the fields just off the road, and quickly filled the plastic bag with fresh hazelnuts. It was a treat to see where the central ingredient in Nutella comes from…Recently, the United States’ National Public Radio reported on hazelnuts, mentioning the tradition of hazelnut farming in Turkey.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/c31/25541592/files/2015/01/img_0452.jpg“Karim Azzaoui, vice president for sales and marketing at BALSU USA, which supplies hazelnuts to the U.S., says the hazelnut trees grow on steep slopes that rise from the Black Sea coast. The farms are small; grandparents and children help to harvest the nuts, usually by hand. “It’s a very traditional way of life,” Azzaoui says. “The Turkish family farmers are extremely proud of the hazelnut crop, as it has been part of their family history for centuries. Farmers have been growing hazelnuts here for 2,000 years.”  Nutella is now making this traditional crop extremely trendy…That’s pushed up hazelnut prices. And this year, after a late frost in Turkey that froze the hazelnut blossoms and cut the country’s hazelnut production in half, prices spiked even further. They’re up an additional 60 percent since the frost.”

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/c31/25541592/files/2015/01/img_0442.jpgBack in the States, as I listened to the radio on my way home from work, it was wonderful to have a face to add to the story in my ear.

I wish Fazlı Bey all the best for his hazelnut crops for years to come!

 

Posted in A Karagöz puppet battle, Turkish destinations, Turkish Food!, Visits from the Karagöz puppets | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Dreaming of deniz börülcesi


/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/c31/25541592/files/2015/01/img_0427.jpgLately, the puppets have been complaining about the polar vortex that has descended upon us.

The little chorus of dancing ladies have had to cover up their skimpy clothes with fat parkas, and they are none too happy at the effect this has on their girlish figures.

I have encouraged them to reframe their feelings from negatives into positives in the form of memory – specifically memories of summer.

As if floating adrift on the Pacific ocean in a boat (just like the characters in the super movie “Unbroken”), all of the puppets have begun dreaming of all their favorite summer food. and today, the topic of their obsession was – sea beans. More specifically deniz börülcesi.  It’s all I have heard about all day.

On the island of Bozcaada, you often see groups of restaurant worker sitting around a table at midday pulling the stems out of each tiny sea bean frond. It is a labor of love. Later, these sea beans are steamed lightly and finished off in the simple sauce of lemon and garlic – with olive oil of course.  You can read all the details about how to prepare this dish over at A Seasonal Cook in Turkey.

Please try these wonderful sea beans the next time you’re on the Aegean coast! And please send some warmth this way!

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Posted in Turkish destinations, Turkish Food!, Visits from the Karagöz puppets | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments